2020 Presidential Candidates as Haikus

Image Courtesy of USA Today

Buttigieg

I’m the moderate

Unfortunately, not Obama

Please stop saying rat

 

Bloomberg

I’m worth 60 bil

I can’t escape my sus past

‘Least I’m on TV

 

Biden

I promise I’m still

Of sound mind. Can I tell you

The story of how-

 

Bernie

Somehow I’m crushing

Everyone loves or hates me

Big Money beware!

 

Klobuchar

I’m moderate too

Boring in all but temper

It’s stapler time.

 

Warren

I’m discount Bernie

More programs than delegates

Whoops! Super PAC cash!

 

Yang

Everyone liked me

Yang Gang just not big enough…

I’ll be back next time

 

Gabbard

Still running still run-

ning still running still running

Still running still run…

 

Trump

Look good I did!

King of the Republicans!

Obey, or get out.