• Check out the new poll!

Pumpkin Rant

Photo Courtesy of Infrogmation (accessed through Wikipedia)

Samuel Anthony, Staff Writer

Hang on for a minute...we're trying to find some more stories you might like.


Email This Story






This is the time of the year when pumpkins are most prevalent. Halloween recently passed where people use pumpkins as jack-o’-lanterns. Soon, people will be using pumpkins in pumpkin pies for Thanksgiving. But the thing is, pumpkins are absolutely useless. If pumpkins were to disappear from the Earth tomorrow, the Earth would be perfectly fine. Actually, it would be a better place. Pumpkins have 3 main purposes: pumpkin pies, jack-o’-lanterns and weight guessing competitions; all of these things can easily be replaced. Pumpkin pie is inferior to apple pie, jack-o’-lanterns can use plastic, and people can guess the weight of literally anything. Additionally, these things aren’t necessary at all. People really only eat pumpkin pie a few times or less a year. Jack-o’-lanterns are purely decorative, and everyone can live without weight guessing competitions. Not to mention the mess that comes with making a jack-o’-lantern. It’s an absolute hassle to make a simple decoration. It takes forever, is a mess, and just isn’t worth the time and effort. Pumpkins are worthless and have no reason to be on this Earth.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Leave a Comment

Any offensive, obscene, rude, threatening or distasteful comments will not be tolerated and will be promptly removed

If you want a picture to show with your comment, go get a gravatar.




Navigate Left
  • Pumpkin Rant

    Showcase

    Student Workshops with Inspirational Speaker Mike Smith

  • Pumpkin Rant

    Showcase

    Varsity Baseball’s Hot Start to 2019 Season

  • Pumpkin Rant

    Showcase

    Career Day at OP

  • Pumpkin Rant

    OP Sports

    OP Lax Thrives in Home Opener on Thursday

  • Pumpkin Rant

    Showcase

    Union County Teen Arts Festival 2019

  • Pumpkin Rant

    Showcase

    Baseball Team Heads to DC for Spring Training

  • Pumpkin Rant

    Showcase

    Recap of the Annual 3v3 Basketball Tournament

  • Pumpkin Rant

    Showcase

    Interview With Student of the Year Runner-Up Recipient Aidan Philbrick

  • Pumpkin Rant

    Showcase

    LLS – End of the Campaign

  • Pumpkin Rant

    Showcase

    Spotlight: OP Alumnus Chris Hutchison’s Climb for Cancer

Navigate Right
Pumpkin Rant