Recently, I had the incredible pleasure to sit down with one Kyle DeLuca, who is an alumni of Oratory currently attending the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia.  While it is true that Kyle DeLuca is my brother, I conducted the interview as though I had no prior knowledge of Kyle in order to maintain proper journalistic integrity. The following are the questions I asked him, followed by his answers.  I also included my personal and completely unbiased thoughts on each response because I found that each answer has deeper meaning and insight into the psyche of Kyle DeLuca.

Q: How long ago did you attend Oratory?

A: I attended Oratory two to four years ago.

(This answer gave more questions than answers…Did he attend Oratory two years ago? Or four years ago? Does he not know? Is he hiding something? He quickly moved on from the topic so I was unable to press further, and my research has yielded no answers to this question.)

Q: Did you start attending Oratory in 7th grade or 9th grade?

A: Neither.

(Further research revealed to me that he actually did NOT attend Oratory in 7th and 9th grade, because he first came to Oratory in 10th grade. Truly fascinating…)

Q: Do you have any siblings currently attending Oratory?

A: Shut up.

(This seemed to be a touchy subject, so I decided to move on.)

Q: How honored are you to have attended a Blue Ribbon School?

A: It’s nice to see that the school that I attended has continued to thrive and grow further after I left.

(Clearly he had believed that Oratory was nothing without his presence, as shown by his assumption that the school wouldn’t grow without him. Congratulations in proving him wrong, Oratory.)

Q: What do you think about the new building being built?

A: It should’ve been built six years ago.

(Jealousy can turn us all into such bitter people.)

Q: How did Oratory prepare you for your current life?

A: The classes I took at Oratory prepared me to not only succeed in my college life but to surpass my own expectation.

(He never explicitly explained his expectation, however I find it underwhelming that he only had one expectation.)

Q: How would you describe your time at Oratory?

A: The atmosphere was very inviting… all in all I really enjoyed my time there.

(I believe the Oratory experience is more than “enjoyable” myself, but nothing seems to be good enough for him.)

Q: Who’s your favorite current student at Oratory, if there is one?

A: Everyone but you.

(I wonder what I had done to anger him like this?)

Q: If you could think of one word to describe the current senior class at Oratory, what would it be?

A: Unique.

(Although unique is an ambiguous word, one can only assume he meant “uniquely extraordinary.”)

Q: Was this an enjoyable interviewing experience?

A: It was… slightly terrifying. Just a little unsettling.

(The truth is never comforting.)