The Oratory Dodgeball Tournament is one the biggest events of the school year, with athletes showing off their abilities and teams battling for championship glory and bragging rights. Here are my team descriptions and power rankings for the 2023 Oratory Dodgeball Tournament:
- 7th Grade Rams: Led by Mr.Daughtery and Mr.Harrison, this team is one of the lesser-ranked middle school teams due to its roster being made up of 7th-grade students. Although an athletic squad, the 7th Grade Rams will play a team filled with experienced sophomores, so it is unlikely that they will be able to power past Paulina’s Pupils.
- Ram Ranchers: This team, led by Abdul-Haq Adome, is an all-freshmen team that will almost certainly not make it out of the first round because of their matchup (Bruce’s Barbarians, my #3 ranked team below). However, the Ram Ranchers will still give it their all to try and pull off one of the biggest upsets in Oratory Dodgeball Tournament history.
- The Volts: An all-freshmen team and the main “Volts” team, the Volts are one of the better freshmen squads, but just aren’t strong enough to beat other teams at the higher grade levels, such as Tortilla or Team SC.
- Manna’s Cannons: This team made a surprising impact last year as middle school participants in the handball tournament, but with many of their stronger players now only becoming freshmen, it is hard to believe that this team will be able to get out of the first round against a strong like Team SC.
- The Volts B Team: The Volts B Team, led by Omega Operator Mr. McCrystal, will be playing the Volts team in round one. Mr. McCrystal should be able to lead this team past its rival Volts squad. After round one, however, the teams that the Volts B Team would likely later face will be stronger, such as Team SC and Paulina’s Pupils. The Volts B Team may ultimately be “powerless” as the tournament moves forward.
- dodgeBALLING: dodgeBALLING, led by Mr. Crum, is filled with sophomore and junior track and field athletes. Unfortunately, they play Wood Talk Boys, filled with varsity, senior, basketball players who made a major impact last year in the tournament.
- Kaounis’ Children: This sophomore-based team, led by Mr. Maybe and Mr. Kaounis, is a strong team in general, but fails to compare to other sophomore teams like Tortilla and Seebode’s Studs. Maybe they will have to bring their A game in order to compete against the strong arm of Blake Duddy and the Tortilla squad.
- Team SC: Led by Oratory President Nick DeRosa and Vice President Bobby Bajkowski, this team consists of students from a variety of grades ranging from freshmen to seniors. The team has an advantage based on its seeding – which may allow them to advance more easily than other teams in the tournament. Team SC should be able to handle Manna’s Cannons and The Volts (for example), but it will become tough sledding once they reach the semi-finals.
- 8. Paulina’s Pupils: This is one of the stronger sophomore teams and they have strong seeding, allowing them to easily pass through their first-round opponent, the 7th Grade Rams. This team, made up of several OP hockey players, will not have cold feet facing the competition.
- Jorts: Jorts is an all-junior team. They have a tough round-one matchup against Going to DONS, and won’t have an easy path to the finals either. They’d have to play Kaounis’ Children or Wood Talk Boys in round 2 – both are strong teams that will not be easy to beat. If they do beat them, Jorts has a decent shot of winning it all. These players are so fast they would make famous Jort wearer John Cena say “U can’t see me!”.
- Going to DONS: Going to DONS, comprised of varsity athletes, is fairly similar to Jorts, and if they are able to beat Jorts and then overcome their round 2 opponents, they have a strong shot at winning it all.
- Seebode’s Studs: Led by Ryan Williams, Seebode’s Studs has upgraded its roster and is far better than their 2022 team, Aki’s Minions. Unfortunately, they have the unlucky distinction of drawing Return of Blauntown as their round-one matchup – my #1 ranked team below.
- Tortilla: In last year’s tournament, Tortilla made an incredible run that took them to the semifinals. This was shocking since it was an all-freshmen team that nobody thought would even get out of the first round. This year, I believe that Tortilla will make a run all the way to the finals because of their matchups, playing Kaounis’ Children in round one and likely playing Paulina’s Pupils in round 2. Other teams may not be able to stomach the Tortilla’s athleticism and will to win!
- Bruce’s Barbarians: Bruce’s Barbarians is made up of seniors and led by Oratory Music teacher Mr.Van Hoven. This team has a strong chance of winning it all, if they can somehow use their barbarian rage to defeat their likely second-round opponent, Return of Blauntown. Will The Barbarians and Mr. Van Hoven be singing the blues by the end of this tournament?
- Wood Talk Boys: Made up of varsity athletes from basketball and soccer, this team is one of the strongest teams in the tournament. Their athletic strength, combined with playing team dodgeBALLING in round one presents an easy path to at least a semi-final appearance.
- Return of Blauntown: Last year’s Dodgeball champions are most likely going to repeat. This team solely consists of baseball players, giving the team an incredible arm strength advantage over all of the other teams. I would be shocked if this team of flamethrowing arms ended up being bounced by another team in this tournament. Bruce’s Barbarians and Wood Talk Boys will need to play perfectly to ensure that there is a different champion in this year’s tournament.