Shadow Banning at The Omega?!

Shadow Banning at The Omega?!

Brian Kelly, Staff Writer

As our readers know, in recent times we have been engaged in a bloody battle for the soul with the media. While at first most of our enemies were from without and none had penetrated the stronghold of The Omega, it now appears that they have entered the very palace of the press. It has been well known that Matthew Deangelis writes for The Omega and that several other employees are his underlings.  Such has been the situation for a while, but alas, we bring now even more bitter tidings. Sadly, it appears that the enemy has infiltrated the highest offices of The Omega and that one of his servants is at this moment working as a publisher. 

Our evidence of this is twofold. Firstly, it appears that a policy of shadow banning has been implemented. That is, while resistance articles are still being published, they are being hidden. For example, by far the biggest story of the year, the discovery of a centaur at Oratory, and the subsequent discovery of a Kraken, 9-foot tall sentient slime, and yeti also refuging in its halls, has been virtually erased from the site. The only way to access these stories is by clicking on the author of the report’s names and then finding the article or by typing the name into the search bar. Neither article covering this bombshell report can be found under “features”, “OP news”, or “world news”.  Likewise, the threat, ehm, response the chess club issued to Gary Saitta is very difficult to locate. Clearly, this cannot be an honest mistake, as Matthew DeAngelis’s article spreading false rumors of communist sympathizing is easily found under “features”. It, therefore, is conclusive that someone at the top is against us.

This evidence would have been incriminating enough, but there is more. While in the process of writing this article, we received a message from an anonymous person, claiming to have dirt on the higher-ups at The Omega. Naturally, as journalists we were interested and we met with the informant in an alleyway. He brought with him a briefcase labeled “Information”, and was about to reveal his identity when the police arrived. He quickly handed us his briefcase, then took off running at a pace which, if maintained, would have enabled him to run a 12.35.35 5k. Below is a picture of the encounter.  

Upon escaping the police, we went to a safe location, and there opened the briefcase. Inside there was only a single picture, but what a picture it was! Here it is below:

That is right. It appears that Mrs. Gribbin is Gallaxhar, the power-hungry world-enslaving alien and that she is currently building an alliance between monsters and aliens so that she can conquer the world. Several staff writers are already enlisted in her force, and many others are sympathizers. She herself has the power to censor and cancel any article she desires. We admit that the situation looks bleak, but there is still hope. President Matthew Clark recently tweeted this:

It also appears that the chess club will be in full support of our counter-attack against this threat to freedom of speech. Editor in Chief Emmett Gaffney has yet to choose a side in this matter, but we suspect his sympathies lie with us, although it is possible the hefty stipend he receives for his editorial work may interfere with his morals. Though even with this support, the odds are stacked against us, there is yet hope for journalism. We shall fight to the end.