An Interview with Chris Rieman: Master of Wordplay and Mock Trial Captain

An Interview with Chris Rieman: Master of Wordplay and Mock Trial Captain

Brian Kelly, Staff Writer

Pericles, Cicero, Caesar, Augustine, Shakespeare, Whitefield, Chesterton, Churchill, Kanye.

Throughout history, various men have been universally recognized for their skill with language. It appears that Oratory Prep has generated one such man: Chris Rieman. From a very young age, Chris Rieman had a way with language. It is said that the very first word he uttered was “Mesopotamia,” which he exclaimed while still in the womb of his mother. Before reaching his first year of life, Chris Rieman was already composing sonnets and beginning to write his first play. By the time he got to high school, Rieman was published in Poetry Magazine and the American Poetry Journal, as well as asked to give keynote addresses at all the Ivy League colleges. His oration was world-renowned, his poetry universally celebrated, and his style unprecedented. 

Already equipped with these talents, he entered Oratory Prep, the top English program in the world. As a Freshman, Chris learned power and grandeur in writing from Mr. Klarmann. The next year, a scholar of the English language, Mr. Kaounis refined Chris Rieman’s technical skill. As a Junior, Rieman was aided in subtlety and craft by the legendary duo of Mr. Kearns and Mr. Marsh. Finally, as a senior, world-class historian of literature, Mrs. Clark instilled into Chris an absolute knowledge of every work of literature ever published.  With these skills, the mighty rhetorician has now set his eye on his greatest goal yet, a Mock Trial State championship.  Below is an interview I had with him on the subjects of linguistics and Mock Trial.  

Who is your favorite poet?

Edgar Allen Poe

You are known for pioneering the form of art known as “Accidental Wordplay.” Can you explain to us what that is, and possibly give us an example?

Yes, so what this is is when someone stumbles upon, accidentally committing wordplay. Essentially it’s a happy coincidence. I’ll give you an example. Today in religion class, Mr. Hughes described the people’s behavior in the lunch line as “the Hunger Games”, accidentally relating the Hunger Games to the food at lunch.  

(At this point in the interview my recorder Evan O’Dowd was very impressed)

Have you ever KO’d someone solely by the power of words during Mock Trial?

Well, of course, many times, especially during cross-examination. When they think they have something on me I just spin the question back around on them.  

And they’re out like a light?

They’re out like a light.  They got nothing for me.   

What are your expectations for the upcoming Mock Trial season?

My expectations are another state championship.  The last one was exactly ten years ago

Do you think Kent Place will give you trouble this year?

No, absolutely not. We beat them twice last year, we’ll beat them twice again