Fastest Eggnog Drinker in the World

On December 20th, 2010, Bob Kuhns attempted the greatest feat of all time on local Pittsburgh radio. Kuhns drank a half-gallon of eggnog in 21.02 seconds, setting the world record and destroying his fellow competitors. The accompanying video shows the skill required for such a feat. The thick liquid is very hard to drink normally but draining a half-gallon in under 22 seconds is absurd. 

This feat is probably the most impressive feat in all of human history. The ability to drink the nog at such an incredible speed is unparalleled in any field. Nothing will ever top this in the course of human history in both importance and impact. This one eggnog drinking contest has more effect on the history of mankind than all previous rulers before it. This was the apex of humanity and the world has been going down since.

The chug was an absolute work of art that should be honored by all. The immense talent required to do such a thing is greater than that of all the athletic prowess of Usain Bolt, Michael Jordan, Eliud Kipchoge, Tom Brady, Joe Montana, LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, Jerry Rice, Honus Wagner, Wayne Gretsky and Alex Ovechkin combined. These men even with their combined records, proficiency, and excellence in the craft can not match these 21 seconds of pure greatness of the Eggnog Chug.

I will leave you now with the video so that you too can experience the prowess of the most important and pivotal event in human history: