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The Shady Dealings of the Omega

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Nick Looney, Staff Writer

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The Omega is one of Oratory’s most important institutions. A shining beacon of journalistic excellence, spreading truth and knowledge and serving as a guide to smaller clubs. But recently, an anonymous tip by an unknown ginger bearded man has lead me to believe that there may be more than meets the eye, especially when it comes to our editors, Luke Bernstein and Dan Carvalheiro-Santos.

Firstly, I believe Dan is a master of manipulation and propaganda. Think Varys on Game of Thrones. He is the only editor I’ve seen compliment articles. The only reasoning I can find for this is that he is manipulating the writers of the Omega into fealty. Thus, no one, other than a sharp private eye like yours truly, would investigate him, and he can command them to put out whatever news he sees fit. Dan also frequently wrote about politics in his past. I’ve deduced that he was producing propaganda, either for his own nefarious goals, or after receiving compensation from world leaders and international entities. Luke, on the other hand, is much harder to decode. But my anonymous tip led me to believe has been running an embezzlement scheme through the club. Now, to be fair, there is no money that runs through the club to embezzle as far as I can tell. But if there’s money somewhere, he’s definitely taking it, he’s just too suspicious. His nonchalant attitude also leads me to believe he has hired thugs that “take care of” witnesses and nosy investigators, and he believes he cannot be caught. I can only hope this fate does not befall me. Finally, there has been an astronomical influx of articles in the past few days. I can see no other explanation for the rise in ambition other than extortion. Hopefully, I can get this article away from the editors’ gazes, and spread the truth.

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Nick Looney, Staff Writer

Hi, I’m Nick Looney. I am a member of the Class of 2020 and have been on the Omega since 8th grade. In addition to writing for the Omega, I am part of...

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