Dodgeball Power Rankings 2017

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Jack Munro, Staff Writer

Writer’s Note: I would just like to remind everyone that this is purely opinion based (although I think it’s accurate) and that you should feel free to make your own rankings if you disagree.

As Spirit Week approaches, themed dress down days and fun games are spread throughout the week. But the main event of Spirit Week is the dodgeball tournament. With 21 14-man teams entered this year, the competition will be tough. To give everyone an idea of who will be playing, I ranked all of the teams and gave a commentary on each of them.

1) All Hair the Gert/Frosh: These are two separate teams, but they have 6 of the same players. Regardless, each team is loaded with athletic seniors. Notably, they have AJ (OP’s best soccer player ever) along with numerous varsity athletes. They are stacked with height and strength and will be extremely tough to take down.

2) Diehl or No Diehl: Diehl or No Diehl is the sophomore super team. They are already loaded with varsity athletes and some of the most athletic kids in their grade. While I believe this team is loaded with talent, they are up against #1 Frosh in their first round.

3) The Jersey Dodgeballers: After winning last year’s tournament, it’s no surprise that the Jersey Dodgeballers are #3. They have a lot of talent and are extremely skilled at dodgeball. With that being said, they are against #4 150 Dream Team in the first round and possibly #1 All Hair the Gert in the second round. Regardless, the Jersey Dodgeballers will definitely be in contention for the win.

4) 150 Dream Team: 150 Dream Team is a really strong team with a lot of varsity athletes and talent coming into the tournament. As the #4 seed, I think they will be a serious dark horse to win the whole thing (and also beat Jersey Dodgeballers in the first round).

5) The McGus Busters: This is the second sophomore super team and they are stacked with athletic faculty + students. They performed extremely well last year (as a freshman team) and should look even better this year. In addition to that, they have an easy first few rounds in the tournament.

6) Girl School Dropouts: Girl School Dropouts have a great team loaded with seniors (and Mrs. Pasnik). They have a lot of talent when it comes to dodgeball and picked up some gym class standouts (Robert Greely III). I think they could be a serious dark horse in this tournament and upset Diehl or No Diehl/Frosh in the second round.

7) FroshPits: FroshPits looks to be the freshman super team. Notably, they have some varsity athletes’ little brothers (Skinner, Mainente, and Werner) along with athletic lifers. In addition to that, they have an easier first few rounds than most other teams. However, it is worth to note that freshman teams usually underperform in the tournament.

8) Posh Mits: Posh Mits is the second freshman super team (I think). I recognize varsity athletes’ little brothers (Heff and Drone) along with a few more athletic lifers. This team is coming in relatively unknown but has the capability to have a great showing in the tournament with Mr. Barresi leading the way.

9) D’Angelo Yacht Club: D’Angelo Yacht Club (sponsored by J&D Snow Removal) has some varsity athletes and decent talent. And let’s not forget that Max Lagana spent all Summer getting jacked, and Joey D is paying the refs for them.

10) Memes for Dreams: This is the middle school superteam and has some up and coming athletes. Notably, Pat Caughey is like 7’5 and yolked. They come in relatively unknown but have the potential to show up.

11) S’Mores: On paper, S’Mores looks like a pretty strong team with a full senior team and a few varsity athletes, but they always underperform in the tournament. In addition to that, I’m going to get harassed by them for putting them this low again (please don’t Dan).

12) Shakespeare’s Lemonade Stand: Shakespeare’s Lemonade Stand is a solid sophomore team. They have a few athletes and decent size but come in relatively unknown. They are set to win their first round against #17 Turtle Targets, but they will have a tough time against either the Frosh Pits or McGus Busters.

13) Dawg Pound: Dawg Pound is a solid freshman team with decent size. They, like many of the other 9th grade teams, will come in relatively unknown, but with a chance to make some big upsets. They also have a much easier bracket than others.

14) Diehl with It: As a full 10th grade team, Diehl with It should have decent size/ability in dodgeball. However, Dr. Diehl is about to carry the team on her back as an absolute beast on the court.

15) Clout Crusaders: Clout Crusaders are a solid 10th grade team. They have some bright spots but remain relatively mediocre. I don’t see much upset potential, but could definitely show up against Girl School Dropouts.

16) Sig Figs: Justin Oei has brought back his sophomore dream team. Stacked with the likes of 30 second 100m runner Rocco Rodrigues and “The Faz”, they would easily be the best team in this tournament if they kept the infamous Dr. Dorito (RIP) from last year.

17) Turtle Targets: Turtle Targets are a full 7th grade team. They come into this tournament unknown and have a lot to prove as the youngest team. 7th grade teams typically underperform, but they may break that stereotype.

18) Bodge Dall: Bodge Dall is a mostly freshman team led by varsity track runner and soccer player Joseph Cranley. If they want to have any chance in this tournament, they have to form a circle around Joe and pray for the best.

19) The DeVitos: The DeVitos is a 7th-9th grade mix team. They come in relatively unknown, but have an easier bracket than most teams.

20) The Meme Dream: The Meme Dream is a full freshman team with only 11 players. Again, freshman only teams typically underperform, but they have a chance to break this stereotype.

Photo Credit: cdn.empireonline.com