Mr. Gordon: Christmas Grinch


Addison Drone, Staff Writer

Mr. Gordon is a religion teacher who is also a Christmas Grinch. He does not have a Christmas tree, nor does he have decorations in front of his home. In fact, the only thing in his house that is remotely Christmas is a lone San Francisco 49ers stocking residing in his kitchen. Likewise, he does not get festive for the holidays and is actually against perennial Christmas sweaters. Overall, he is against Santa Claus and believes that the jolly fellow is just a “big fat guy who is going to die from diabetes.” That man, according to him, should be arrested for breaking into and entering homes for a 24-hour span. Wow, talk about bah humbug.

However, Mr. Gordon does have some good inside of his soul, which should be the case since his is a religion teacher. He does attend a Midnight Mass, but he attends it with the purpose of receiving the Eucharist. He knows that the real birth of Christ is not until March or April, and this central idea behind Christmas is false and has become very commercialized. He still recognizes the significance behind the nativity, but technically it is the incorrect time of year so he stresses the Eucharist portion of the Midnight Mass.

In conclusion, take it as you will. Your religion teacher does not actively decorate for Christmas and minimally celebrates. He is against Santa and is essentially a grinch. Happy Holidays!