The Darth Jar Jar Theory

The Darth Jar Jar Theory

Nicholas Looney, Staff Writer

If you’re like me, then you are very excited for the upcoming Star Wars movie, The Force Awakens. In preparation for this blockbuster, I’d like to bring up something that has recently come to my attention: The Darth Jar Jar theory. Any Star Wars fan knows Jar Jar Binks, a character featured in the three Star Wars prequel movies. You are also most likely aware of the constant hate he gets for being a lumbering dope. But what if there’s more to Jar Jar? What if he is in fact an evil Sith mastermind who is responsible for the galaxy being torn apart and the fall of the Jedi? This may sound ridiculous, but there is some evidence. And by some, I mean a lot of evidence.

First of all, let’s talk about the mind tricks he uses. Yes, mind tricks. Whenever trouble arises in a movie, it is usually because of a dumb suggestion made by one of the characters. In Star Wars, when Jar Jar is around for these pivotal pieces of dialogue, you can see him mouth the words, as if he is planting the thought in another person’s head. He is also often seen waving his hand in front of people’s faces, which is followed by pivotal dialogue. For example, when the leader of his people is complimenting him, Jar Jar waves his hand in front of his face, and is suddenly offered a promotion to general in their army. Yes, the guy who was supposedly too clumsy to even be allowed to live in there society is suddenly offered an influential position in their society. Also, he uses a big, encompassing gesture to the entire Galactic Senate, which is followed by the acceptance of Jar Jar’s proposal to give absolute power to the guy who just happens to turn out to be the main villain of the entire trilogy. Gee, what a coincidence, they’re definitely not in cahoots or anything like that. Another example of his competence is during the scene where he bumbles around a battlefield and seemingly survives using dumb luck. But what if I told you he uses the exact same movements used in an ancient fighting style called, “Drunken Fist.” I kid you not. There are videos comparing his fighting movements to those of a Drunken Fist master, and he replicates them exactly. Finally, and the most chilling piece of evidence, is at the end of The Phantom Menace, during the funeral of great Jedi master Qui-Gon Jinn, a very somber event, Jar Jar actually smiles. He full on smiles at the funeral of his “friend.” Do what you will with that information, but I personally believe that this so called “bumbling idiot” was a lot smarter than we all thought. Well played George Lucas, well played.