The greatest basketball game ever played took place in the gym at Brookwood High School in Alabama. The final score? 2-0 for the opposing team, Bibb County. Yes, you read that correctly. Yes, it was a basketball game. No, it was not played at Oratory Prep.

You may be wondering, “How could there ever be such a score in a high school basketball game?” Well, seeing as how this was going to be their fourth game in a week, Brookwood coach Thad Fitzpatrick told his players in the locker room before the game that he would rest them. Congratulations, Coach, you achieved your goal. However, you also obtained the title of “Worst Basketball Coach in the History of Mankind” as well. After a Bibb County guard missed the first shot of the game, forward Brandon Rutledge grabbed the offensive rebound and scored the team’s first, and only, points.

Brookwood, now facing a whopping early deficit of 2-0, decided to run its Princeton motion offense; however, Bibb County simply sat back in a zone. Coach Fitzpatrick then made the ingenious decision to hold the ball until the Bibb County players got out of the zone defense. Smart choice, Coach. The opposing players, seeing what was happening, made no change to their defensive strategy. “Surely they won’t keep this up for the entire game,” thought Coach Russ Wallace of Bibb County. Well, they did, even though they were down two points the whole time.

A total of 7 shots were taken that night. As his players were holding the ball, Coach Fitzpatrick went up and down the sideline singing to pass the time. When the final buzzer sounded, he went into the locker room with a smile on his face.

What a joke. First off, congratulations to Brandon Rutledge for being the MVP with 2 points and maybe a couple of rebounds. In all seriousness, however, Coach Fitzpatrick should be fired, if he isn’t already. What kind of strategy is it to hold the ball for 32 straight minutes in order to try and get the other team to change its defensive shape? Also, what kind of coach would be smiling while walking into the locker room after a game where his team scored a total of ZERO points? I could go on for hours about how this man should be banned from ever touching a basketball again, but I’ll restrain myself. Coach Fitzpatrick, you embarrassed yourself, your team, and your school. As you can tell from the picture, Naismith is not proud of you.