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The Third Coming of the Noss

Jack Mogen, Staff Writer

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The Noss footprint on Oratory like any dynasty is in no way small, with two-thirds of the able-bodied Noss’ attending Oratory how could it be? With Cole being the class CEO (hammer and sickle of the student body) of both his freshman and sophomore year and his older brother being a seasoned class rep (slave to the CEO). What could there be said about the youngest of some of Oratory’s most well-known students, but that he is, in fact, the best of the three. Now that is a bold statement considering the achievements of his older siblings, however, it is an accurate one. When you truly consider the achievements and potential of this young monster, it’s daunting.  

Firstly, Chase Noss attends Lawton C Johnson Summit Middle School, one which both Cole and Jake attended. Comparing their grades and a teacher’s own comment, “I had all three of those boys, while all of them are outstanding, one stands out above the rest. Chase Noss was leagues above them, socially and GPA wise. He is an amazing public speaker, an inspiring leader, and a child genius” (Completely Trustworthy Source). What could discredit such an inspiring dialogue, well perhaps you aren’t totally convinced. To that kind higher functioning primate I offer you further evidence, “He had a 99.9 GPA last year because he wanted to show us he was human, he purposely didn’t answer one question” (Jake Noss). His own brother the oldest and perhaps wisest, second to Chase.

Chase is not just superior mentally, he is much bigger than even his oldest brother. Chase is a 6’3” 220 lbs tank of a human, who can easily bench 200 lbs. If you have ever heard the saying, “Do you think God stays in heaven because, he too, lives in fear of what he’s created?” it is because of Chase. This freak of nature is only in the 7th grade, not to mention he plays football with the 8th graders because he would accidentally mortally wound his classmates otherwise. Even the 8th-grade teammates fear his size and power, do to such power he managed to break his wrist through sheer will and power. Now what normal human could even remotely get that close to complete control of one’s body.

Chase is final coming of the Noss, the greatest of the triumvirate, man of the hour, and the savior of humanity, his grace, charisma, and talent cannot be denied, nor can the opulence of his resting place.

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