Hidden Talents of Oratory

Hidden Talents of Oratory

Nick Looney, Staff Writer

Oratory is a haven for a special people. In this article, I’m going to expose some people with hidden talents in this school, to truly give you an idea of what’s bubbling under the surface here at the Prep.

First off, we have Ms. Halter, the ninja master. She has experience in kickboxing and did kung fu on a mountain. She will annihilate you if you fail to correctly conjugate your Italian assignment. Matt Enderley once fell up the stairs. How? I do not know, but there are eyewitness accounts of the incident. Sesugh Dio is an expert hacker. His exploits are classified, along with most other details of his cyber skills, but as a friend of his, I can verify that he doesn’t mess around. Ted Babcock has several hidden talents. First of all, if you show him a pair of Jordan, Nike, or Adidas shoes, he can instantly tell the model number. He can also fly! All he needs is a trampoline… Emerson Orr is apparently a master at drinking syrup. According to my sources, he’s chugged as many as 3 full bottles of maple syrup. Tyler Maloney can breathe. Oh yeah, and he’s good at public speaking. Mr. Kaounis is a legend on the bass guitar, as many guys saw last year at the talent show where he dropped some sick bass lines. Mr. Plagge can speak German, Chris McAllister plays 4 instruments including the Oboe, Justin Oei is a grammar Nazi, Brian McKegney is a master at making memes, Miles Madigan and Chris Lowe can flare their noses on command, Mr. McCrystal has OCD which he describes as a talent, Olivier Antoine can dance, and Nick Short is a good artist. Nathan Yeager can squeeze his hands together, creating a noise, which he can use to play complex musical scores. Nick Werbaneth is confident in his skill at racing turtles, specifically our resident turtle, Amos. Zach DeVita-Paulson and Jack Coyne, our future engineers, are good at building and designing roller coasters respectively. Coyne can also type 110 words per minute. And then there’s Jack Holt. He can spin anything on his finger, although I asked him not to demonstrate in fear he’d use my laptop, and can drink 2 full bottles of water in 10 seconds, which I witnessed. These are just a few of the secrets Oratorians hold, so hopefully one day I can probe the members of the community further.

Image Edit courtesy of John Lally