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Who’s Old Man Logan?

Carlo Zahl, Staff Writer

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So seeing as there’s a new Wolverine movie that based on Old Man Logan, I guess it’s time to continue the glorious tradition of explaining the comic that the comic book movie is based on. So Old Man Logan was written by veteran comic writer Mark Millar (Civil War, The Secret Service, The Ultimates), drawn by artist Steve McNiven (Civil War, New Avengers), and published in 2010.

The story takes place in an alternate post-apocalyptic future where all of Marvel’s supervillains got together and were like “Hey, we all suck at fighting superheroes. But if we all team up, we could do some serious damage.”; and damage they did because they won. The supervillains finally defeated all the heroes and took over America. They all divided up America into sections for them to rule over and yeah, that’s America in the future. Now you’re probably asking yourself “What does Wolverine have to do with this?”, the answer of course is everything. Spiderman villain Mysterio (a villain who’s very good with making illusions) tricked Wolverine into thinking that he was killing supervillains, but he was actually killing, his fellow X-men (WHAAAAAAAT?) After Mysterio’s illusion wore off, Wolverine realised what he did and was sad, really sad. He walked over to some train tracks, laid down, and let the train run him over a couple of times. Wolverine effectively “died” at the train tracks, he sheathed his claws for good, became a pacifist, and just went by Logan (Like the movie). Fifty years later we find Logan as an old man living as a farmer in what was California with the Hulk Gang (By the way in those fifty years Hulk went crazy, had a big family with She-Hulk, and their children serve as the rent collectors of the land that Hulk owns).

Now that the exposition is out the way, let’s get to the story. So old man Logan is not able to pay the rent to the Hulk gang this month, they beat the adamantium out of him and laugh that he’s not fighting back (remember, Logan hasn’t popped his claws in fifty years), and leave. The next day, old man Hawkeye shows up to Logan’s farm and has a job for him. Hawkeye will pay Logan to guide him across this weird post-apocalyptic America to deliver a secret package(I forgot to mention old man Hawkeye’s blind). Logan takes the job for the money to pay his rent and off they go on a really weird, miserable road trip in the spider mobile(http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/marveldatabase/images/f/f1/Spider-Mobile.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20080801212144the greatest car known to man). Hawkeye and Logan traverse this weird America and see a lot of miserable sites and go on some weird side adventures to further illustrate to you, the reader, that the superheroes lost and life sucks. They see hammer falls, where Thor died and his hammer just kinda hangs out because no one is worthy enough to wield it. Pym Falls, a town built around the giant skeleton of Giant Man. A t-rex covered in the venom symbiote. You get the idea.

Logan and Hawkeye finally get to their destination of New York. The package was a bunch of vials of the super soldier serum (the steroids that got Chris Evans jacked) in order to start a coup to oust President Red Skull. Spoiler Alert!! It was actually a trick by the Red Skull to get Logan (Hawkeye was unaware and though. He kinda died. Life sucks for Hawkeye). Red skull laughs at Logan for being a pacifist, they fight, Logan wins (who saw that coming) and Logan travels back to California in an old Iron Man suit that Red skull kept in the white house. Logan comes home to a big old surprise. His family was killed by the Hulk Gang. Logan snaps, pops his claws, kills all the hulks, and fights the hulk (the first person he fought in his first appearance in Marvel comics).

So that’s a summary of the comic, unfortunately, that’s not going to be the story in the movie. Disney kinda owns like most of the characters in the story’s film rights, but finger’s crossed that they use as much as they can from the comic. But you’re probably asking yourself two questions right now. Why did I bother reading that? And should I know anything else so I can impress my friends when I go to the movies? The answer, yes. The little girl in the trailer with the claws is X-23. A bunch of scientists wanted to make a new Wolverine. But they didn’t have enough of Wolverine’s genetic tissue to make a male clone of Wolverine. The lead scientist (who happened to be a female) took some of her own genetic tissue, Wolverine’s genetic tissue, smacked them together and became the clone to be’s surrogate mother. That’s why she’s a girl and not a guy. The narcos guy with robot arm is Donald Pierce, the leader of the reavers. The reavers are a paramilitary organization made of cybernetically enhanced soldiers that have fought the X-men for years.
If you want to read the Old Man Logan story, here’s the Amazon link https://www.amazon.com/Wolverine-Old-Logan-Mark-Millar/dp/1302904639/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1488237001&sr=8-1&keywords=old+man+logan. Marvel’s brought the Old Man Logan character into their current comic books and if you want to read those, here’s the other link https://www.amazon.com/Wolverine-Old-Logan-Vol-Warzones/dp/0785198938/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1488237088&sr=8-3&keywords=old+man+logan. Logan is going to be Hugh Jackman’s last turn as Wolverine. And after seventeen years of playing Wolverine, he BETTER put on the suit!!

Photo: https://s-media-cache ak0.pinimg.com/564x/9b/cd/7f/9bcd7faf101394a983d19385192c565c.jpg

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